1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly
good leg humping.

2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.

3. Yelling at me for barking...I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG
YOU IDIOT!!

4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat
isn't all over
everything
while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your
toothbrush tastes a
little
like cat butt?)

5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check
stuff out. Exactly
who's
walk is this anyway?

6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my
nose...stop it.

7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet.
Why'd you buy
carpet?

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your
guests.  Sorry but
I
haven't quite mastered that handshake thing
yet...idiot.

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself.  Look,
we both know the
truth,
you're just jealous.

10. Dog sweaters.  Have you noticed the fur?  
Imbecile.

11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.  Now
you know why we
chew
your
shit up when you're not home.

12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard.  
Do you realize how
far
behind schedule that puts me?

13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then
acting surprised
when I
freak out every time we go back.

14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.  You
fooled a dog!  What a
proud
moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.

15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing
with us?

time ago, and he says it's about time that I believed it.  He was disgusted that I had to actually see it in writing to believe it, lol.

very, very cute, Red.

xoxo

ff


p.s. for those who are interested and dont know, Jpeg is my pet Yorkie. Actually, these days, it's more like "Sir Jpeg"

-- Modified on 5/3/2002 12:22:51 PM