George Carlin


I AM A BAD AMERICAN.  I AM GEORGE CARLIN:

I LIKE BIG CARS, BIG HOOTERS & BIG PAYCHECKS.
I BELIEVE THE MONEY I MAKE BELONGS TO BE & MY FAMILY, NOT SOME
MIDLEVEL GOVERNMENTAL FUNCTIONARY WHO WANTS TO GIVE IT
AWAY TO CRACK ADDICTS SQUIRTING OUT BABIES.

I BELIEVE THAT IF YOU ARE SELLING ME A  BIG MAC, YOU'D BETTER DO
IT IN ENGLISH.

I'M NOT IN TOUCH WITH MY FEELINGS, I   LIKE IT THAT WAY.
I BELIEVE THAT IT DOESN'T TAKE A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD, IT TAKES
TWO PARENTS.

I WANT TO KNOW WHICH CHURCH IS IT EXACTLY WHERE THE REVEREND
JESSE JACKSON PREACHES, WHERE HE GETS HIS MONEY, & WHY IS HE
ALWAYS PART OF THE PROBLEM & NOT THE SOLUTION?

I THINK THAT BEING A STUDENT DOESN'T GIVE YOU ANY MORE ENLIGHTENMENT
THAN WORKING AT   BLOCKBUSTER.  IN FACT, IF YOUR PARENTS ARE FOOTING
THE BILL TO PUT YOUR PANSY TAIL THROUGH 4-7 YRS. OF COLLEGE, YOU
HAVEN'T BEGUN TO BE ENLIGHTENED.

I DON'T THINK BEING A MINORITY MAKES YOU NOBLE OR VICTIMIZED.

I THINK FIREWORKS SHOULD BE LEGAL ON THE 4TH OF JULY

MY HEROES ARE JOHN WAYNE, THE SIMPSONS, & WHOEVER CANCELED
DR. QUINN, MEDICINE WOMAN.

I DON'T HATE THE RICH, & I DON'T PITY THE POOR.

I KNOW WRESTLING IS FAKE & I DON'T WASTE MY TIME ARGUING ABOUT IT.
I THINK GLOBAL WARMING IS A BIG LIE.  WHERE ARE ALL THOSE EXPERTS NOW,
WHEN I AM FREEZING MY BUTT OFF THROUGH A LONG FREEING COLD WINTER?

I HAVE NEVER OWNED A SLAVE, OR WAS A SLAVE, & I DIDN'T WANDER  40 YRS.
IN
THE DESERT AFTER GETTING CHASED OUT OF EGYPT.  I HAVE NOT BEEN
PERSECUTED
BY THE TURKS & NEITHER HAVE YOU,   SO SHUT UP ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I THINK THE COPS HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SHOOT YOUR SORRY ASS IF YOU'RE
RUNNING
FROM THEM  & I ALSO THINK THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO PULL YOUR ASS OVER IF
YOU
ARE BREAKING THE LAW, REGARDLESS OF WHAT COLOR YOU ARE!

I THINK IF YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO KNOW HOW A BALLOT WORKS, I DON'T WANT
YOU
DECIDING WHO SHOULD BE RUNNING THE MOST POWERFUL NATION OF THE WORLD
FOR THE NEXT 4 YEARS.

I THINK IF YOU ARE IN THE PASSING LANE, & NOT PASSING, YOUR LICENSE
SHOULD
BE REVOKED, & YOU SHOULD BE FORCED TO RIDE THE BUS UNTIL YOU PROMISE TO
NEVER DELAY THE REST OF US AGAIN!

I THINK DR. SEUSS WAS A GENIUS.

IF THAT MAKES ME A BAD AMERICAN, THEN YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN.  IF YOU
TOO
ARE A BAD AMERICAN, PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW.

WE NEED OUR COUNTRY BACK!

SINCERELY,     George  Carlin