FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER: 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES: Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK. $300, hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES. California grown - 89 cents lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.