Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge
around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel, and getting up to
maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the
other residents tolerated her, and some of the males actually joined in.
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and
Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched.
"STOP!" he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for
that thing?"
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat
wrapper, and held it up to him.

"OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird
Harold popped out in front of her and shouted;
"STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?"
Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster, and held
it up
to him. Harold nodded, and said "Carry on, ma'am."
As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front Door, Crazy
Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, with a very sizable
erection.
"Oh, good grief, "cried Ethel, "not the breathalyzer test again