There once was a man from Westphalia
Who went on a wild bacchanalia
He buggered a dog
Two goats and a frog
And a bishop in fullest regalia

There once was a man from Moritz
Who planted a field full of tits
They came up in the fall
Pink nipples and all
And he languidly chewed them to bits

There once was a man from Peru,
Who fell asleep in his canoe.
He stroked on his penis,
While dreaming of Venus,
And woke up with a handful of goo.

There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His Doctor a cynic
said Get out of me clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick you fool!

I heard this long ago and forgot the ending.

There once was a lady from Mars
who fucked in the back seat of cars
Although she was red,
she gave wonderful head.
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There once was a girl from Aberistwythe
Took her grain to the mill to make grist with.
But the miller's son, Jack,
Threw her flat on her back,
And united the things that they pistwyth.

OR

A lovely young girl named Flo Arden
Was blowing her beau in the garden.
He said to her, "FLo,
Where's that stuff go?"
She said to him [gulp] "Beg pardon?

A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued all night
As to who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.

There once was a girl named Lass
Who refused any cock up her ass
But when the money got tight
She couldn't stand the fight
And now she's a provider with class!

There once was a girl named Lass
Who refused any cock up her ass
But when the money got tight
She couldn't stand the fight
And now she's a provider with class!