PINOCCHIO

    Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes
 complain about splinters when they were having sex.
    Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could
    help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper on his
    manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

    A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing
    happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"

    Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"