Onions and Christmas Trees

A family is sitting around the supper table.  The son asks his father,
"Dad,
how many kinds of breasts are there?"

The father, surprised, answers- "Well son, there are 3 kinds of breasts.
In
her twenties a womens breasts are like melons--round and firm. In her
thirties to forties, they are like Pears, still  nice but  HANGING abit!
After fifty  like ONIONS!!"

"ONIONS?"

"Yes. Look at them, and they make you cry!"

This infuriated the wife and she said to the daughter, "Let me tell you
about PENISES!" She said, "There are three kinds of them too.  There are 3
phases. In is twenties his penis is like an Oak;  mighty and hard.  In his
thirties and forties, it is like a birch; flexible, but reliable. After his
fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree??"

"Yes. Dead from the root up, and the balls are there for decoration ONLY!!"