YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN...

- You answer the door before people knock.

- Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you.

- You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.

- You spend your vacations visiting "Maxwell House"

- You ski uphill.

- You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

- You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.

- You speed walk in your sleep.

- The Nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

- You sleep with your eyes open.

- You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

- You're the employee of the month at the local coffee house and you
don't even work there.

- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not
plugged in.

- The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

- Instant coffee takes too long.

- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

- You help your dog chase its tail.

- You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.

- Your first-aid kit contains 2-pints of coffee with an I-V hookup.

- You short out motion detectors.

- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

- You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."

- You lick your coffee pot clean.

- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

- You chew on other people's fingernails.

- All your kids are named "Joe"

- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low"

- You buy 1/2 and 1/2 by the barrel.

- You can jump-start your car without cables.

- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.

- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

- When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-
three more, I'll have a cup."

- When someone asks, "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."

- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.

- You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.

- You named your cats "Cream" and "Sugar"

- Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

- Your 3 favorite things in life are: coffee before, coffee during
and coffee after.

- You can't even remember your second cup.

- You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

- Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.

- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.