John and Martha were neighbors and had been carrying on a somewhat secret affair for several months.  On bowling nights John would sneak over to Martha's house after the lights were out and leap into bed with her while her husband was bowling.  On canasta nights when John's wife was out, Martha would wait until the lights went out, then run over to John's house and jump in bed with him.

This went on twice a week until the two of them actually broke the bed in Martha's house with all their wild sex.  The next week, John was found dead and naked in Martha's bedroom.  

The local redneck reporter was trying to get the story for the paper from the Coroner.  
Reporter: "Well, Doc, what happened, is this a killin' or a rape, what's the gore?"  
Coroner, correcting the reporter's poor taste: "No, it's a suspicous death.  Not sure if it was an accident or suicide.  According to Martha she had just purchased this new four poster bed, and this sex starved neighbor came charging into her bedroom and leaped up and scewered himself on the bedpost in front of her.  She said it took her an hour to get him off."
Reporter:  "You mean he took that whole bedpost up his little ass hole?"
Coroner, correcting the reporter's language, "I'd say 'rectum'!"
Reporter: " Geesus, Doc!!  Wrecked 'em, Hell!  I'd say it fuckin' killed him,  but at least Martha said she gave him one of her fantastic blowjobs before he died, right?"