They should pay my best bud for ripping off "his butter" story. Back when we were in college in the mid 80's, my best friend and I were sharing a cab back to our apartment after a long hard night of partying and barhopping. I had my college gf with me, so I was set. And as usual, my friend had picked up a skank who was more than eager to come back with him and fuck. The overt shit that he talked to her on the way back to our apartment was funny in and of itself. And it was a good thing that both the chicks were so wasted, or neither one of us would've gotten laid due to his shit-talking. Once in the appt. my gf and I headed to my back BR and shut the door as usual. My friend and his skank starting fooling around in living room/dining room area. At some point, they discovered "more lubrication" was needed. My friend solved his problem by taking our tub of butter and topping his dick with it. The next morning, our other roommate (who always stayed over at his GF's since he shared a BR with my friend) came back rather early and saw the opened tub of butter still on the table. Pissed that it had been left out of the refrigerator, he then noticed the obvious "imprint" of a penis plunged down into the butter! Being the tight ass that he was (and having a good idea of which roommate left his "mark"), he burst into his BR exclaiming, "You're buying..." only to catch his roomie and his skank going at it doggie style! He quickly shut the door and went back out to the living room laughing his ass off. All this commotion had gotten me good and awake, so I went out to see what the deal was. I couldn't stop laughing when I saw the butter, and then I told my other roommate about some of the "shit" he talked to this girl on the way over. We laughed at that and marveled that she stayed with him instead of slapping his face. About that time, our friend popped out of his BR alone. We asked, "Where's your 'NEW girlfriend'?" To which he replied, "She's climbing out the window!" Seems she was a bit too embarrassed to come out into the living room. So we did what any mature college guys would do, which was to run to the BR window so that we could catch a final glimpse of her. Despite being on the ground floor, she had a lot of difficulty getting out the window. So we were able to catch her going out head first with her legs and ankles still inside the room! Why she was having this difficulty, we don't know. But she managed to finally get out. Of course we implored her to stay and have some breakfast. I remember mentioning that we had some toast and some "butter that I think you'll really like!" She declined and I'm pretty sure that she didn't "catch the joke"!
After she left, we all noticed these purple stains streaked across the wall. We quickly realized that it was from the girl's purple socks which she had worn the whole time. This provided us with even more laughs as we got our friend to demonstrate all the various positions that they had been in, in order for all these stains to have occurred. About that time, my GF woke up and asked, "where's (actual skank's name)?" We were all surprised that my GF knew this girl, so we asked her how. (Especially since NONE of us knew her name!) She reminded us that the party we had been at was one of her friends and that virtually everyone there was a sophomore and were in the same program at school. My two roommates were both Sr.s and I was a Jr., but my best friend and his "new girlfriend" were in the same program at school and didn't realize it since there was a 2-yr. age difference. While they didn't have any classes together, they did occassionally run into each other in the department's main building (and again out in the bars). When my friend realized that she didn't even want to talk to him, (and he had once again forgotten her real name) he began to address her as "Parkay"! We never explained this to my GF, but it sure cracked us guys up!
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