The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate. - Leno

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. -Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. -O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. -Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The
other is for housing prisoners. -Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America! - Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers. - Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. -Letterman