A man boarded an aircraft at London 's Heathrow Airport for New
York , and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful
woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward
his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.

"Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"

She turned, smi led enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to
the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States ."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever
seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for
nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your
business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded."I use
my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.."

"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American
men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American
Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is
that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of
Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all
categories are the Irish."

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry,"
she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even
know your name!"

"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me
Paddy."

Classic reworking of an old Steven Wright Joke:

One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl...I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?," and she said, "I saw my analyst today and he says I have a problem." So I asked, "What's the problem?" She replied, "I can't tell you. I don't even know you..." I said, "Well sometimes it's good to tell your problems to a perfect stranger on a bus." So she said, "Well, my analyst said I'm a nymphomaniac and I only like Jewish cowboys...by the way, my name is Dennise." I said, "Hello, Dennise. My name is Bucky Goldstein..."