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Erotic Humor

Advantages Of Being A Woman
mikkifine See my TER Reviews 4875 reads
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1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

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mrfisher5645 reads

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mikkifine5435 reads

But I have always have been curious why do some men think getting a pedicure is a woman's thing.

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charlie4455229 reads

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mrfisher5850 reads

Footwear, as told to me by several providers whom I am close with, is what women look at first in a man.

They want the shoes to be real shoes (that is, not sneakers!), and to be in reasonably good repair, leather if at all possible, to be tied (Yes tied!), be on the right feet (That's a giggle.)

With all the time that women spend in selecting shoes, what makes men think that they would be any less interested in our footwear?

By the way, women don't size you up financially by your shoes.  They use the watch for that purpose.

And finally I agree with you Miki; men should take good care of their feet and make them presentable.

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Dr. joe5259 reads

I am clearly in big trouble:  I don't own either a pair of shoe laces (all my shoes are loafers) or a watch.  I guess I am in real trouble.  
I understand the watch, but explain what stories the shoes tell.

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mrfisher5429 reads

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JakeLuvsIt25052 reads

40 advantages of being a guy.

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
3. Your bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter.
4. You can open all your own jars.
5. Old friends could care less whether you've lost or gained weight.
6. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
7. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into the boards).
8. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
9. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
10. Your last name stays put.
11. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
12. The garage is all yours.
13. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
14. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
15. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
16. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
17. You don't have to shave below your neck.
18. If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
19. Chocolate is just another snack.
20. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
21. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
22. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by.
23. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
24. You don't care if anyone notices your new haircut.
25. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "he must be mad at me."
26. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
27. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
28. Wedding dress: $2000; Tuxedo rental: $75.
29. You don't care if someone's talking about you behind your back.
30. You don't mooch off others' deserts.
31. The remote control is yours and yours alone.
32. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
33. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
34. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.
35. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
36. If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.
37. New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.
38. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
39. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So.... Notice anything different?"
40. One mood, all the time!

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