A lady asks the tattoo artist to draw a turkey on her upper right thigh just at the bikini line.  The artist thought it to be an interesting request, but said nothing.  When done with that she asked him to put a Christmas tree in the same position on her left thigh.  Again, the artist thought it to be unique, but said nothing.  When all done she paid him and headed toward the door.  However, the artist finally just had to say something.  He told her that was one of the more interesting requests that he ever had received and asked what the inspiration was.  Oh, that's easy replied the lady.  Quite simply I'm tired of my husband always complaining at this time of the year that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Another lady went to the tattoo artist and asked for her two favorite movie stars to be tattooed on her inner things.  She wanted Robert Redford and her left leg and Paul Newman on her right.  When he was finished she looked down with horror and said that they didn't look a thing like Redford and Newman.  She refused to pay and they argued about it.  Eventually they agreed that if a stranger could ID the faces she would pay.  So some poor slob was dragged in to do the job.  He looked carefully and eventually said:

That's a nice variation on the Mae West line from one of her movies: