Subject: New Diet


Wonderful new diet

A friend of mine has a Labrador retriever, and was buying a large bag of Purina One at Wal-Mart. He was in line ready to check out when the woman behind him asked if he had a dog. (Duh!)

On impulse, he told her no, he was starting The Purina Diet again, although he probably shouldn't because he had ended up in the hospital the last time. But he figured he would, since he had lost 50 pounds before he awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms. My friend told her that it was essentially a perfect diet.  The way it works is you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so he was going to try the diet again.

Practically everyone in line was now enthralled with his story, especially a tall guy who was standing behind this woman. Horrified, she asked if he ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned him. My friend told her no, he had been sitting in the street licking his balls and a car hit him. The guy standing behind her started laughing so hard he almost had to have help as he staggered to the door.