* She looks out the window and gets arrested for indecent exposure.

* As a baby, she had to be breast-fed by the family dog.

* Even mosquitos stay away from her.

* She startles the animals at the zoo.

* On Halloween, she has to trick or treat over the phone.

* She makes onions cry.

* Her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a box of milk duds.

* Her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.

* The plastic surgeon wanted to add a tail.