Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach when she came across an old brass lamp.  Thinking, "what the hell", she rubbed the lamp and out popped a genie!

"Great!  I get three wishes right?"  says Monica.

"No, since you've led such a naughty life I'm going to give you just one wish.  Now, what will it be?"

Monica thinks it over... she doesn't need fame, she has all of that she needs thanks to that Bill-whatshisname.... and her book and lecture tours are bringing in all the money she needs, so that's out... she looks down at herself and...

"I've got it!  I would like to get rid of these love handles... I wish my love handles would disappear!"

POOF!

Her ears vanished.