Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is usually the husband.

When our lawnmower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.  But, somehow, I always had something else to take care of first:  the truck, the car, email, fishing.  Always something more important to me.

Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.  When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.  I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.  I was gone only a few minutes.  When I came out again, I handed her a toothbrush and told her that when she finished cutting the grass, she might as well sweep the driveway.

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.