Erotic Humor

Lion Tamer
flshutterbug 7 Reviews 7777 reads
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A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up.

One is a retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I ' m not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history.

Here's your equipment --chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage.

The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her.  About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues
to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life".  He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"

The tough old golfer replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of there."

A man is applying for a job to be an elite soldier of fortune trained to rescue people from the most dangerous conditions.

The interviewer tells him that he must pass the following test to prove his skills, bravery and intrepidness:

First, you have to down an entire bottle of Jack Daniels, next you have to go into a lion's den and pull a tooth out of the lion's mouth.  Finally, you have to make love to a gorgeous woman and satisfy her like she's never been satisfied before.

The man agrees and starts by downing the whole bottle of Jack Daniels.  Then he goes into the lion's den.  The most blood curdling roars and screams ensue but in a few minutes the noise ends and then the man stumbles out of the lion's den all clawed and bloody and says:

"Now, where's that broad with the toothache?"

ba-doom

Two lions were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like hell.

So the other asked, “Why are you crying?”

The first one replied, “I came here for a blood test”

Second one asked, “So, are you afraid?”

First one replied, “No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger.”

Hearing this, the second lion started crying.

The first one was astonished and asked the other, “Why are you crying?”

The other replied, “I have come for my urine test.”

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