Today is my daughters 18th birthday.......
I'm so glad that this is my last god damn child support payment.
Month after month, year after year, those damn payments!
So I called my baby girl to come over to my house, and when she got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to your mothers house and tell her that this is the last damn check she's ever going   to get from me, and I want you tell me the expression on her face."
So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was so anxious to hear what the bitch had to say and what she looked like.
As my baby girl walked though the door, I said, "Now what did she have to say?"

"She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy..."