Subject: One word or two

An elderly couple in a small town had been dating for a  long time. At the urging of their friends, they decided it was  finally time for marriage.

Before the wedding, they went  out to dinner and had a long conversation about how their marriage might  work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so  on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the  subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he  asked.
"Well," she said, responding very carefully, "I'd have to  say - I would like it infrequently."

The old gentleman sat  quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and  asked "Is that one word or  two?"

Teacher was trying to increase the kids' vocabulary, and so asked someone to use the word "definitely" in a sentence.  Johnny raises his hand and says, "I know, I know."  Teacher's a little wary, but says, "ok Johnny," and he proudly uses the word: "Mary is definitely the hottest girl in school."

Teacher sighs, says, "that's great, Johnny, now, can someone use the word 'indefinitely' in a sentence?"

Once again Johnny is on his feet, his hand waiving in the air, and so Teacher says, "ok, Johnny, how would you use that word in a sentence?"

"Well," says Johnny, "when I feel my balls slapping against Mary's bum, I know I'm in definitely."