The Irish daughter had not been home for more than five years.

Upon her return, her father scolded her.  "Where have you been all this time, you ingrate!  Why didn't you write us -- not even a line -- to let us know how you were doing?  Why didn't you call? Don't you know what you put your Mum through? What were you doing?"

The girl replied, "Da, I became a prostitute."

"What! Out of here, you shameless harlot, you sinner! You're a disgrace to this family. I don't ever want to see you again!"

"OK, Da -- as you wish. I just came back to give Mom this luxury fur coat, title deeds to a ten-bedroom mansion, and a savings account of five million Euros. For my little brother, I had this gold Rolex. And for you, Da, the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club. And for all of you, an  invitation to spend New Years' Eve on my new yacht in the Riviera."

Her father cleared his throat. "Now, wait a minute. What was it you said you had become?"

"A prostitute, Da."

"Oh, Bejesus! You scared me half to death, girl!  I thought you said 'a Protestant.' Come give your old man a hug!"