Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer:

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called
his first witness to the stand - a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr.Williams. I've
known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've
been a big disappointment to me.You lie,you cheat on your
wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their
backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than
a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned.  Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the
defense attorney?" She replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known
Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted,
and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal
relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women, one of whom was your wife.
Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both
counselors to approach the bench and in a very quiet voice
said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll
throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."

after reading that...it put a big smile on my face.  Thank