An elderly gentleman walked into the local drug store and asked the
pharmacist for Viagra.  
The pharmacist asked "How many?" The man replied, "Just a few, maybe a
half dozen. I cut each one into four pieces."  The pharmacist said, "That
is too small a dose. That won't get you through sex." The old fellow
said, "Oh, I am past eighty-five years old and I don't even think about
sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my
shoes