A man asked his doctor how he can live to be a hundred.

The doctor asked the man, "Do you smoke or drink?"

"No," he replied, "I've never done either."

"Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?" inquired the doctor.

"No, I've never done any of those things either."

"Well then," said the doctor, "Why the hell do you want to live to be a hundred!?"

A poor immigrant came to the door of a billionaire.  The butler answered and said:  "What do you want?"  The immigrant said:  "Tell your master that for $100 I'll give him the secret of how to live forever."

The butler went to tell the billionaire and to the buttler's astonishment, the billionaire decided to bite.  The immigrant was escorted into the livingroom and the billionaire passed a crisp C-note into the immigrant's hand.

"Now, tell me the secret" said the billioniare.

"My advice to you", started the immigrant, "...is to move to the small village I came from in my native land."

"How will that make me live forever?" said the billionaire.

"Because...", continued the immigrant,"...for as long as anyone in my little town can recall, no wealthy man has ever died there."

And people wonder why the immigration laws have gotten so strict.