A pregnant woman came into the Doctor's office with a very strange mallody.  Her mouth had turned black on the inside and looked gangrinous, scareing the woman half to death.  "Doctor, what can this possibly be?  Could I have been bitten by a spider, is it something I ate?  Am I going to die?  What about my baby?"

The Doctor, having never seen this phenomenon before was truly puzzled.  "We'll have to run some tests on this to see exactly what is causing this problem.  I'll take a couple oral swabs and see what we have here, I'll call you with the results."

He went back into his lab and swiped some petre dishes and some slides and began a serious investigation into this new disease. After three hours he telephoned the patient with his conclusions.  "I need to ask you a few more questions to verify my suspicions," he said.  "Do you own an old car that doesn't run well?"  "Why, yes, my husband has been working on the car to fix it and he's been up late every night before he comes to bed," replied the wife.

"That's what I thought," said the Doctor.  "My perscription for you is to masterbate your husband five times a day, followed by a long hot shower for the two of you together.  Cut back on the oral sex and your problems should subside in a couple days."

"Well, Doctor, what is the problem?  What about my baby?  Will it be alright?  Is there any danger?"  the woman asked.  The Doctor replied with a sheepish giggle in his voice, "I think it should be fine, dear, it is just tailpipe soot."