One morning a guy took a pair of underwear out of his dresser drawers.  

"What the ? ? ?," he said to himself as a little blue dust cloud appeared when he shook them out.

"Honey," he hollered to his wife, "why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"

She shouted back, "It's not talcum powder..........It's 'Miracle Grow'."

or else his ass will grow