John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest  of me life, between the legs of me wife!'  That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
     He went home and told his  wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'
     She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'
     John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'
     'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.
     The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.  The man chuckled  leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a  toast about you, Mary..'
     She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit  surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four  years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears  to make him come.'