A young urban dwelling male is sitting in his apartment, alone, on a Friday night. He is sick of jerking off, and wants to find a willing playmate. Instead of doing the smart thing, and contacting a provider listed on TER, he heads to the local watering hole to try his luck
He pulls up to the bar, and spies a comely young lass several seats down. He buys her a drink and introduces himself. They hit it off, and have a fun conversation. Finally he asks her back to his apartment. She agrees.
"But," he says, "I want to do something kinky." She smiles wryly, and nods agreement.
They return to his apartment and have vigorous, passionate sex. Very intense, but nothing unusual.
Getting dressed, she notes, "That was fantastic, but I thought you wanted to do something kinky."
He replies, "I did...I shit in your purse."
A man is standing in the middle of his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is sitting up in bed, looking at him quizzically.
He announces, "Honey, I want you to see the pig I sleep with when you have a headache."
His wife is annoyed. "You moron! That isn't a pig under your arm, it's a sheep."
He replies, "I wasn't talking to you!"
From his book Dirty Jokes and Beer
A man and woman are sitting next to each other at a bar. After a few drinks, the man turns to the woman and asks why she looks so down.
“My husband just left me,” she says. “He thinks I’m too kinky in bed.”
“What a coincidence! My wife just left me,” the man replies. “She said I was too kinky for her!”
Ten minutes later, back at her place, the woman says, “Let me slip into something more comfortable,” and she goes into the bathroom to change into a leather dominatrix outfit. But when she returns, the man is walking out the door.
“Where are you going?” she asks. “Didn’t you want to have kinky sex?”
“Well,” he says. “I just screwed your dog and shit in your purse. I’m done!
