These are actual comments made on students' report
cards by teachers in the New York City public school
system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are
these funny!)

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock
bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an
idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then
consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The stude nt has a "full six -pack" but lacks the
plastic thing to hold it all together .

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should
sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but
the train isn't coming.

;10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to
be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created
this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.