"Hello darling, it's Daddy, is Mummy near the phone?"
"No Daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Kevin"
Pause
"But you don't have an Uncle Kevin darling"
"Yes I do, he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mummy!"
"Right, this is what I want you to do: Put down the phone, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door, go in and tell Mummy and uncle Kevin that my car has just pulled up outside the house. Have you got that?"
"Okay Daddy"
Pause
"I did what you said Daddy"
"And what happened?"
"Well, Mummy jumped out of bed and ran around screaming, tripped over the rug, fell out of the front window onto the drive and now she's dead"
"Oh my god! And what about Uncle Kevin?"
"He jumped out of the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgotten that you drained it last week and he's dead too"
Pause
"Swimming pool? Is this 555-7039?"