A  modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without
water.

His horse has already died of thirst.

He's crawling  through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last

breath, when all of  a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand
several yards ahead of  him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers  what looks
to be an old briefcase.

He opens it and out pops a genie.  But this is no ordinary genie. She is
wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency  Management Agency) ID badge and a dull
gray dress.

There's a  calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one
ear. 'Well, cowboy,' says the genie.. 'You know how I work....You have three
wishes.'

'I'm not falling for this.' said the cowboy... 'I'm  not going to trust a
FEMA genie.'

'What do you have to lose? You've  got no transportation, and it looks like
you're a goner anyway!'

The  cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is
right.

'OK!, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink.'

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful  oasis he has ever seen, and
he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'

'My second  wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dream! s.'

***POOF***

The  cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare
gold coins and precious gems.

'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish.  Better make it a good one!'

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy  says... 'I wish that no matter
where I go, beautiful women will want and  need me.'

***POOF***

He was turned into a tampon.

The moral  of the story:

If the government offers to help you, there's going to be  a string
attached.