A gastroenterologist claims these are actual
comments made by his patients while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where
no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying
that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

6. "You know, in some states, we're now legally
married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left
hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10."If your hand doesn't fit, you must aquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
 
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't
you?"