CINDERELLA

    Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother
    won't let her.  As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her
    fairy  godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella
    with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two
    conditions:

    "First, you must wear a diaphragm".  Cinderella agrees.
    "What's the second condition?"

    "You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm
    will turn into a pumpkin."  Cinderella agrees to be home by 2
    a.m.  The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella
    doesn't show up.  

    Finally, at 5a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking  love-struck and
    **very** satisfied.

    "Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your
    diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours
    ago!!!"

    "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of
    everything."

    "I know of no prince with that kind of power!  Tell  me his
    name!

    "I can't remember, exactly... Peter Peter, something or
    other...."