A mailman was making his deliveries in late December and getting some nice Christmas gifts from his regulars.  At one delivery the lady of the house greeted him at the door wearning a slinky nightgown.  She didn't say a word, just took him by the hand, led him upstairs and screwed his brains out.  Afterward she took him to the kitchen and cooked him a great omelete with home fried potatoes and bacon.  On his way out she handed him a dollar bill.

Amazed, he asked what had generated such a wonderful Christmas gift.

"Well" she said, "last night I asked my husband what we should give you for a Christmas gift.  His reply was 'Fuck him, give him a dollar.' Breakfast was my idea."