This is not an erotic joke.....or even a little bit off-color.  It's just a plain, good-'ole-joke....that's good for a laugh, anytime.  If you want to bypass this joke.....be my guest.     Enjoy......Gordon


Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down.  
I was looking for my keys.  They were not in my pockets.  A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.  Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.  My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.   My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.  Her theory is that the car will be stolen.  As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion.  Her theory was right.  The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police.  I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.  Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered, "I always call her 'honey' in times like these.  I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence.  I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice.  "Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off..!!"

Now it was my time to be silent.  Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."  

She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman, I have not stolen your car."

Yep it's the golden years.

I can't tell you how many times I've gotten up to go to the kitchen and forgotten why I went in there; only to return to the den and then figure it out.

I used to be able to go shopping without a shopping list.  Now my brain is a bunch of scribbled notes in my shirt pocket.

This getting old shit sucks!

And......the "Golden Years".......are like this:
You dig out your gold......just to pay all your Doctor's bills..!!

My folk's talked about retiring one day, and traveling to Florida each winter.....and then when those days became a reality.....they no longer had enought get-up-and-go left in them....to make a driving trip all the way from the West Coast......to the East Coast.  Go figure.

Gordon