Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Old Lady 1: What's that?

Old Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Old Lady 1: Where did you get it?

Old Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a package of condoms.

The Pharmacist looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.

She replies it doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel.