I suppose these are true, but if not, they're pretty funny.
>
> Bite your tongue sayings, as spoken by several women (blondes,
> maybe?).
>
> Have you ever spoken, and wished that you could take the words
> back...or
> that you could crawl into a hole? Here are a FEW people who do....
>
> 1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow,
> and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blowjob?"
> I turned around and walked out and never went back. My husband didn't
> say a word ...he knew better.
>
> 2. I was at the golf store, comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
> was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
> several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking young
> gentlemen who work at that store. He asked if he could help me. Without
> thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's
> balls."
>
> 3. My sister and I were at the mall, and passed by a store that sold a
> variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
> boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
> just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the
> boy grinned, and I turned red and walked away. To this day, my sister
> has never let me forget.
>
> 4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
> release some pent-up energy, and ran amok. I was finally able to grab
> hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
> patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she
> would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
> voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go "right now," I will
> tell Grandma that I saw you kissing daddy's pee-pee last night!" The
> silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers
> stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity, and
> walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard
> when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
>
> 5. A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
> got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price
> tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom,
> and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN,
> TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of
> the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS."
> In a business-like
> tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom, "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU
> PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
>
> 6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days, and a
> very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely
> think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow, but don't
> get any....a true story....We had a female news anchor who, the day
> after it was supposed to snow, but
> didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8
> inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the
> set, but half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard!
>
