A Irishman walks out of a pub with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth.

A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, 'Can I help you Sir?'

'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr', the Irishman replies.  

The cop asks, 'Where was your car the last time you saw it?'

'It wasss on the end of thisshh key', the Irishman replies.

About that time the cop looks down and sees the Irishman's wiener hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.

He asks the Irishman, 'Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself ? '

Momentarily confused, the Irishman looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out....

'Holy shit! My girlfriend's gone, too!!