There once was a man from Westphalia
Who went on a wild bacchanalia
He buggered a dog
Two goats and a frog
And a bishop in fullest regalia

There once was a man from Moritz
Who planted a field full of tits
They came up in the fall
Pink nipples and all
And he languidly chewed them to bits

There once was a man from Peru,
Who fell asleep in his canoe.
He stroked on his penis,
While dreaming of Venus,
And woke up with a handful of goo.

There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His Doctor a cynic
said Get out of me clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick you fool!

I heard this long ago and forgot the ending.

There once was a lady from Mars
who fucked in the back seat of cars
Although she was red,
she gave wonderful head.
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A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued all night
As to who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.

There was a young man from Brighton
Who thought he'd at last found a tight 'un.  
He said, "Oh my love,
It fits like a glove."
Said she, "But you're not in the right 'un."

There once was a girl named Lass
Who refused any cock up her ass
But when the money got tight
She couldn't stand the fight
And now she's a provider with class!

There once was a girl named Lass
Who refused any cock up her ass
But when the money got tight
She couldn't stand the fight
And now she's a provider with class!