1 . Coffee, n.
 The person upon whom one
coughs.



2. Flabbergasted , adj.
 Appalled by
discovering how much weight one has
gained.



3. Abdicate, v.
 To give up all hope of ever
having a flat stomach.



4. Esplanade , v.
 To attempt an
explanation while drunk.



5. Willy-Nilly, adj.
 Impotent.



6. Negligent , adj.
 Absentmindedly
answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.



7. Lymph, v.
 To walk with a
lisp.



8. Gargoyle , n.
 Olive-flavored
mouthwash.



9. Flatulence , n.
 Emergency vehicle that
picks up someone who has been run over by
a
steamroller.



10. Balderdash , n.
 A rapidly receding
hairline.



11. Testicle, n.
 A humorous question on an
exam.



12. Rectitude , n.
 The formal, dignified
bearing adopted by proctologists.



13. Pokemon, n.
 A Rastafarian
proctologist.



14. Oyster , n.
 A person who sprinkles his
conversation with Yiddishisms.