I've learned that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they
panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter
how much I care,
some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years
to build up trust, and it
only takes suspicion,
not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by
on charm for about fifteen
minutes. After that,
you'd better have a big
weenie or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't
compare yourself to others
they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep puking
long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible
for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of
how hot and steamy a relationship is at
first,
the passion fades, and there had better
be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that sometimes the
people you expect to kick you
when you're down will be the ones who do.

I've learned that we don't have to
ditch bad friends, because their
dysfunction makes us feel better about
ourselves.

I've learned that no matter
how you try to
protect your children, they
will eventually
get arrested and end up in
the local paper.

I've learned that the people
you care most
about in life are taken from
you too soon
and all the less important
ones just never go away.

I've learned to say "F--- 'em if
they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.

from such a young lady as yourself!
Amazing!

LM