I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back
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Nice Ass!!!!!!!

 
Boobs are proof that men can focus on 2 things at once.

 
A man goes in to a Bank and sees a lady with gray hair. She says"can I help you ?"
The man says,"Yes,I want to open a Fucking Bank account!"
The lady says"what did you say?"
I said I want to open a Fucking bank account!
She says"you better watch your language or I'm getting the Manager!
Why? cause I want to open a Fucking Bank account?
So she storms off.
She returns with the Manager who says,what's the problem here?
The man says,I won the lottery and all I want to do is open a Fucking bank account with $30 million.
The bank manager says"and is this fucking Cunt is giving you a hard time?!

 
An angry wife to her husband on Phone:
"Where the hell are you?"
Husband:
Darling You Remember that Jeweler Shop? Where
you Saw the Diamond Necklace and totally fell
In Love with It and I Didn't have Money that
time and I said "Baby It'll be yours 1 Day"
Wife, with a big Smile & Blushing: Yes Yes I
remember that My Love
Husband: I'm In the Pub just next to that shop.

 
Arguing over breast size is like choosing between different beers.....
Men may state their respective preferences, but will grab whatever is available...as long as its not flat..

 
A police officer was patrolling the highway, sees a guy tied up to a tree. The officer approaches the guy. "What happened?". The guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up." The cop pulling down his pants, "I guess this isn't your lucky day, pal!"