A couple has an old dog who snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep,  the
wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to
tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah
right!" she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The
wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to
the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the
dog's testicles. Sure enough, it works! The woman  is amazed!
  Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out
drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and  begins
snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So she
goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and
>ties  it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him!
The woman sleeps soundly.

He wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he
stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a  blue
ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused and as he walks  back
into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's  testicles.
He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I  don't know where
we were, or, what we did, but, by God, we took first and second place"