1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I can't
remember, what I chose.

     2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom
factory.

     3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

     4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

     5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

     6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on
earth.

     7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try
Weekly, and Try Weakly.

     8. Virginity can be cured.

     9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

     10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you'd better have a good hand.

     11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too
small.

     12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

     13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss,
only down under.

     14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was
happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......

     15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life
sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

     16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ? A: Breasts
don't have eyes.

     17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many
men still sleep with their wives !!!