Hey All,

See if you've got any insight on something weird that's happened to me in the past week, would you?

I found a Provider on TER that I found quite interesting, based on her pics, presence of reviews (though only one was anywhere near what we'd call "recent"), and contactability (though phone #s are the gold standard, any Provider who uses a particular IM is VERY convenient for me to reach). I made initial contact, and things moved along quite easily, in regards to screening and the Vibe I got. She was very friendly, professional, and we seemed to have a mutually positive rapport.

We set an appointment for 10pm, on-the-dot, at her incall location. I left at 6:30pm, calling from the road to let her know I'd arrive on time and making sure I had general directions to the location. I arrived nearby at 9:45pm, and called to "check in." No answer. Losing battery in the cell, I noticed with a touch of panic, and had to shop around for a charger. Mission accomplished, and back on the phone by 9:55pm. No answer. 10:05pm, no answer. 10:15pm, no answer. Hmm.

At 10:20pm, I called once more, and again, no answer. I left a message to the tune of "Hope you're okay, but I'm going back home--maybe we'll try again later." Returned home at around 2am, tired and more than a little disappointed. Got a Y/M the next day around noon: "So sorry baby, I apologize. Let me know where you'll be and I'll drive over."

Now, she initially sounded very regretful about the stand-up (said she took some medication and fell asleep by 9pm), and I was truly understanding about it. More than 7 hours in the car, alone, for no good reason at all...but hey, I understand that I'm not going out to buy a new toaster oven or Steely Dan CD, y'know? So, we agreed that maybe the following week (she had to be in Houston for a few days, AGAIN I'm totally respectful and understanding about it)would do.

Talked a couple of times over the next few days, all's friendly and easy-peazy, right? Wrong.

This past Wednesday, I got some unexpected free time (enough for the drive to Big D, even enough leeway to stay the night and return home next day, so I could book a room and do it up right). I trolled about, some of my prior connects, one or two new ones, and BINGO--set up a 1st time with a fairly new Provider. We'd meet after 10pm that evening, no problem! (The first Provider had become impossible to reach since Monday-- what are you supposed to do? So I set it with another Provider, not thinking there'd be a problem. Boy, was I wrong...)

Halfway there, I thought I'd call Provider #1 and just see if I'd get through...maybe two dates tonight, eh? Trying to be a High Roller is a vice of mine, I'll admit, but why not? Sometimes you eat one sugarcone, and sometimes you pig out on the whole bowl...

No answer, but Provider #1, who blatantly stood me up a week before, called me back immediately, and was now PISSED.

The conversation went something like, "I don't use this service to make FRIENDS. This is my BUSINESS. Are you coming down?"
"Yes--"
"What time do you want to meet?"
"Um. Hey, are you pissed about something?"
"WHAT TIME?"
"Well...you know, I've already GOT an appointment. Sorry, but--"
"Do you have any friends?"
"Well, sure! I--"
"Why don't you call them, then? I don't NEED friends, I have HUNDREDS of friends."
(Now, this threw me right off. What would you think, if the situation suddenly veered off into this weird, unexpected realm?)
My answer was subtle, and still quite respectably friendly: "You know [Provider name withheld here, no need to slam a professional at work], I don't think I'm that interested in seeing you. That's the coldest thing anyone has said to me in a while..."
"You're coming down though? Where are you staying?"
"Um...listen, let's just forget it, whatta ya say darlin'?"
"Well then LEAVE ME ALONE!" After this classy line, she hung up.

Of course, upon returning on Thursday, I angrily fired this IM parting shot: "Yes I will leave you alone now. Please remove me from all devices and schedules. Great way to run a business...You are a PR genius!" I then deleted her ID from my IM, and her # from my phone (no stalker or hanger-on am I), nothing lost, nothing gained. Except for a fair amount of wasted time on my part.

My question to you: Is there any conceivable explanation for this crazy chain of events? I'm honestly shocked at how hostile she became, in absolutely no time at all. Thanks in advance for letting me pick your mind on this somewhat troubling stuff (and remember I'm "new" to the hobby, so it's quite possible I've missed an obvious sign or common trait)! And, sorry for the somewhat long, "wordy" post. Your patience is, as always, appreciated.


Okay,
Bobbo

P.S. The good news? Provider #2 was a very fine 1st encounter, and very rewarding. All's well that ends well, eh? Selah.

-- Modified on 3/20/2009 11:09:44 AM

sorry you had this experience, at least it only cost you time, gas, and aggravation.  maybe the "medication" that put her out the first time wasn't just cold medicine.  you might have stumbled on a bi-polar provider who isn't great about taking her meds.  

while many providers got into the biz to supplement income, have a yearn for naughty excitment, or to satisfy a hyperactive libido, there are those out there who fit into the SW stereotype.  not many on this board, thankfully, but it stands to reason that they might bubble up periodically.

these things happen. Remember, ladies are born with what they need to be successful... it is how they conduct their business as to whether or not they are.

What you describe has happened to all of us at some time... the first time, we want to fix it... give her the benefit of the doubt, etc. You are a little sensitive to this, just let it go... YOU did nothing wrong. And remember, you CANNOT fix it... don't try... move on.

A new experience will change your outlook on everything... think about your wonderful time, not the bad one.

I had a similar thing happen a few months back... was quite fond of her but enough crap happened so I moved on... and found a real gem.

Happy Hobbying Buddy...

Maybe you're actually the lucky one. Think about the poor slob that did make it into her room, and then had her take her little sidetrip to wherever it is that she goes. It sucks, but you could have a much worse story to tell.

Bobbo: Let's make sure I understand the chain of events.  

Chapter 1: you drove over 3 hours to Dallas for an appt with Provider #1. She stood you up.  With the return trip, you clocked seven hours total drive time.  That would have been the end-game for me with Provider #1, and it should've been for you. I don't believe her idiotic excuse & you shouldn't either.  

Chapter 2: You make a 2nd trip to Dallas and  book with Provider #2.  Then you inexplicably call Provider #1 & she goes off on you. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  My rule: never call a provider unless you're meeting her within the next hour.  Just e-mail & text msg till then. Did you schedule an actual date/time with Provider #1 for that week?

Chapter 3: You return from your 2nd trip, sit down at your computer, then send a PM to Provider #1, just to rattle her cage.  No, don't do that. You really have no idea who-you-are-dealing-with.  Her boyfriend, who may have just gotten out of prison, may not like someone who upsets the princess.  

Bobbo, you made this personal when it should have been business--after Provider #1 stood you up on trip #1, you should have dropped her flat.  Don't ever contact her again.  Take care, --z

Zangari,

I do appreciate your take on this deal, for sure. So, thanks for your guidance pard.

On the other hand, you come off a little harsh and/or condescending in your last command, there! This is said with a smile and plenty of respect for your experience and guidance, so don't you get weird on me too, okay?

I think you've obviously either misconstrued the chain of events, or put your own take on it... either way is cool with me, bro.

Again, as I stated, the plan was to possibly retain TWO companions for the evening, and at the time of the call, everything was just peachy, to my knowledge. Okay?

As for the "next day IM," well, I'll bend to your point of view on that, but only to an extent. It's all over now, no harm/no foul, as I stated. So, lighten up a bit on your pitiful friend and narrator, oh my brother--wouldja? Jeez.


Okay,
Bobbo

Much of Zanga's take on the subject was similar to mine... kind of a been there done that myself... even now I wonder if I'm crossing the line being a little too communicative with a lady..  and I've seen her 10 times in a month!

So this 'advice' is doubly valuable in that 1) you are new, and 2) you had not even met the provider in question.

We all like to have communication with the lady beforehand. I know the lady you did connect with just happens to be a rarity in that she engages in quite a bit of communication because that is who she is... do not assume all ladies are that way.

In fact, as Zanga implies...most ladies are only talkative on the phone just prior to a date or for setting a date.

And remember... take none of this personally, which you are still doing.. but are getting a tougher skin all the time. None of take the time to post in these situations unless we are trying to help.

Cheers!

I had experience like you described in the past.

I often need to do business travelings.  Before my trip, I do research on well-reviewed providers in the area.  Then, I contact multiple providers before the trip. I call to confirm on the day before I leave, and confirm again before the appointments.  Often I need to call back-up ladies, and re-schedule, ... it's not a perfect system, but I won't be disappointed.

Bobbo, I didn't intend to be harsh with you, but remember that you're walking on the wild side now so don't be careless and don't make enemies. And giving Provider #1 a second chance shows very bad judgment(sorry) and then sending her a nasty PM afterwards...I tell you now, you will reap what you sow.  

Providers don't love you but they will respect you if you're businesslike each-step-of-the-way up until the appt. Calling a provider when you don't have an upcoming appt can be intrusive, and I think that's why Provider #1 went off on you.

I hope you can use the advice that you've been given on this thread. I thought that's why you posted in the first place.  Take care, brother. --z

Dear BarbieDoll:  I don't post reviews, but I'll give you an 'A' for marketing.   That's a nice ad dressed up like a post.  

Bobbo:  I think you just met Provider #3.  I hope the 'strange story' has a happy ending.  --z

Old Buddy,

I've read you for months, and I'm not surprised that I feel (perhaps incorrectly) that I've learned all that I can from you, no offense.

Thank you so much, man! Wish you all the best, and when something of a "different" nature comes along, I'll look to you for guidance again. You da man...Wes' Side.


Okay,
Bobbo

Bobbo: Sorry, brother--my last post was a joke. I wouldn't assume to tell you who to spend your time with.

Take care, --z

Bobbo,

Please post who she is. Wouldn't you have like to have known, in advance, that you were dealing with a nut case? Our time and money is more important than her feelings.

Ty

Partner,

You know I really do have concern for anyone facing a "weird-out" situation like that, but listen:

It was only a potential, two-week encounter gone bad. I've had one perfectly knowledgable, capable member of our community try to scare me into thinking I did something wrong, and another who I know and trust fully assume that I must've crossed some line. I did neither.

One thing I will NOT do is publicly malign a Provider (has anyone noticed that I always capitalize that? It's out of RESPECT for a professional practitioner of what I consider to be a truly necessary, "lost" occupation), for any reason.

If you'll PM me, I'd be glad to tell you who to look out for, out of concern for your safety and overall great hobbying experience! But please, don't ask me to do it here...it wouldn't be right, bro.


Okay,
Bobbo