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Question for all the lovely providers here.
relaxandenjoy 1 Reviews 6810 reads
posted

Although I do not have the time to do a lot of reviews, I have been a fairly active hobbiest over the past 7 years in Dallas.  There have been a few times when during a "date" that there was a very strong connection between the two of us.... great sex, easy conversation, laughter, emotional honesty and in many cases encouraging me to stay beyond my time.

So here is my dilemma and question:  There have been times that I have thought about calling or emailing a girl and asking her out on a "civilian" night out, with no strings attached of course.... just because I am obviously very attracted to her and totally enjoyed her company.

As a provider, would you consider accepting an invitation to go out on a "regular" date with someone you have seen professionally?

Why... or why not?

Carrie Hillcrest5638 reads

Your dentist is amazing at filling cavities -- would you ask her to clean your teeth for free? Your lawyer protected your butt in court -- would you ask for the next case pro bono? Your accountant saved you megabucks doing your taxes -- would you request that you not have to pay him to do the same next year?

Providers and clients are *supposed* to develop attraction, great conversation, and a wonderful experience during their time together. That's the whole point. If you're very attracted to her and enjoy her company, ask for a repeat appointment! There's nothing more flattering. :)

It's very uncomfortable to have to decline seeing a client off the clock; feelings always get hurt. Please spare us the difficulty and don't ask!

As much as I adore my favorite clients, this is a business for me, not a way to find civilian dates. There are financial and emotional boundaries in place to protect both of us. When I'm asked to go on a "regular" date by a client, that is generally my cue to stop seeing him; he is looking for something (a regular dating relationship) that I can't and won't provide.

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ALEA7567 reads

ha ha... I remember you sweetheart and we DID have a connection.  lets go on one of those 'no strings attached' dates.   Since we have so much in common I'm sure you love to spend money on me as much as I do.

I know you also LOVE to have me dress up and go to one of the most expensive restaurants in town.

So here is a GREAT idea of our regular 'no fee' date. just you and me being boyfriend, girlfriend buddies.

An afternoon , hanging out and shopping for me... then dinner!!!!  Wonderful.  call me ok?

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LadiLuver7842 reads

I'll even let you stay all night.  No charge.

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ALEA6411 reads

You should have read the fist post Ladilover..

The guy said he wanted to call an escort he really loved spending time with and see if she would see him sans dollars.. solely becuz they like each other so much....

I was being sarcastic showing how unrealistic that train of thought is....

Sweet of him to feel that way..and honestly if he wants a 'real' boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with the girl he can darn well ask her.  Never hurts.  Some clients and ladies end up married.. it happens...

But more than likely he is already in a relationship or married.  Not across the board but often those are the ones who want to be friends and hangout without any money..

and that mindset is not realistic.  

sorry my post offended you or you didn't grasp the meaning.  Seems like I hit a nerve and that certainly wasn't my intention.  



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Dbara5953 reads

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LadiLuver5606 reads

I was just having fun with the thread.  I was just building off your sarcasm to propose a completely unrealistic scenerio.

In reality, I would only have you make me dinner; I wouldn't make you do my laundry:-)

Sorry for any confusion.

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mr.bobbo6098 reads

Brother,

That's simply not what a Provider provides, dig? Godamighty, PLEASE acknowledge that you're not contemplating a deal like that...

I've "broken the fourth wall" with nearly every Provider I've seen...Hell, I should (and might) write a novel about the hobby! We talk about careers, the "business", our backgrounds and general approach to life and wonderful stuff, for sure; but even I (and I'm a silly sap of a sucker if there ever were one) have never fooled myself into that possibility, man.

Say it ain't so, man! I'll be looking for your response here, and good luck. Then again, what the Hell do I know, eh? Indeed...


Okay,
Bobbo

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LukeStone139161 reads

ALEA, well put. Luke

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Dbara7252 reads

a client comes along that they have great sex with and great conversation and the client is in shape and clean. Understand my friend, the good ones are the ones we resonate with and hard as it is to believe, they do the same thing with most of their clients they want to come back. It's a business for them... they know it's competitive out there and if YOU are a cut above they would rather repeat than take a chance with a new client.

If your connection was that strong - she would let you know - or she would certainly offer - let's have some time off the clock - but it never happens after one date - I once sensed pure magic with a provider and we were on the clock for 3 dates, then some dinners off the clock... but it took lots of BCD time and communication... it's rare... and you don't have to wonder or ask... you both know and you don't air it out... it's private.

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ALEA6399 reads

this is a raw subj. for most ladies.   *and sorry for any crazy posts from me lately... .I had to regroup and re-center from allowing some negativity into my life*  

but Dbara has a thoughtful response.  

Yes, it does happen but not after one or two dates.
Mine have started out as generous frequent flyers.  But it wasn't ever (nor is it ever) all about the dollars.  They were/are  people I've shared  alot of common ground.   and I can't say it is ever really off the clock... ?  Seems like I always am being compensated... but over the years the dates are longer,  start earlier, end later...  travel together is really vacation time...  you end up arranging treats for each other due to familiarity and past experiences with each other.... so there is exchange of likes and ideas that accentuate and give way to a fuller experience all around.

These connections naturally progress to this point without discussion.   and they are a Godsend... and , yes, I do thank my lucky stars to find them.    Thanks for the reality check Dbara.






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Dbara4934 reads

but I decided to get philosophical midstream... lol

Yes, the special-friends relationships that can happen are just that special... I have known 3 ladies like that... only one off the clock totally, the other 2 - it varied, a little time before or after - to hang out and talk... another big factor is the trust issue ... that doesn't happen after one or two dates either... many dates... again, something you know, and don't have to ask.

Glad you are getting re-centered.

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Chevalier4918 reads

"If your connection was that strong - she would let you know - or she would certainly offer - let's have some time off the clock - but it never happens after one date"

And may be pretty rare even after several.

Over the last 10 years, there've been maybe 15 ladies I've seen at least six times.  With one, I've had lunch or coffee off-the-clock a few times, either totally separate or before/after a date . . . but she was the one who suggested it.  We got along extremely well, but I never would have been the first to bring it up, even after we'd had such lunches several times.  It was always her move.  With another lady, I had lunch off-the-clock ONCE, at her suggestion, when I "retired" from P4P.  (Retirement didn't last long. *sigh*)  A couple of others OCCASIONALLY let a date run long, not for additional sexual activities but because we were enjoying talking.

That's about it.  And I suspect that's a fairly decent batting average.  Although work and wife limit the possibilities for off-the-clock encounters, I'm not a particularly repulsive guy (although "in shape" would be stretching it), so I assume my experience is fairly representative.  It's just that most ladies want/need to maintain those boundaries.

-----------------

Actually, one lady once hinted that I would be welcome, not just at the table but in her bed, off-the-clock.  I saw her several times since then, but didn't pursue the hint.  If you accept off-the-clock invitations, it's always possible that the lady will eventually regret having made the suggestion, feel uncomfortable about how to rescind such, and resent you for it . . . and that risk is MUCH higher if the invitation is for BCD rather than just lunch.

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SultrySophie4591 reads

Mix BUSINESS with PLEASURE. It NEVER works. The lady always gets taken advantage of!! Sophie

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DFWSophie5317 reads

I REALLY WISH YOU WOULD CHANGE YOUR NAME!!!!!

Sincerely,
The ORIGINAL SultrySophie

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