In my opinion, there's only one way to choose a pope: butt nekked, which is why they will never let me be a pope- or any other clergy member for that matter. Not to mention, I'm not awesome at the whole celibacy thing.

Soo....Let's discuss our options over a nice glass of vintage wine while we hole up in my warm, cozy apartment. Who should be the next ruler of the Catholic Church:

Madonna
Biggie Smalls
Richard Simmons

I know what my vote is going to be, but I'm pretty sure you won't agree with me so we are going to have to spend *hours* sweating it out as we try and come to some kind of agreement. Don't worry- this conclave is way more discreet than it's counter part so we will leave the smoke signals for the vatican.

Downtown this week- **March 13th-16th**

Screening for the conclave is mandatory, but painless. We can't let just anybody make such important decisions, after all. RS2K, P411, or references are all wonderful. You can find more info on how to book and what's required on the reservations page of my website.

Check out my website via the link below for more scandalous pictures and info on how to book your own private conclave.

Passionately Yours,

Veronica Sweets