When I was active all my ads said "no black men". I got a sea of negative backlash for my decision. Emails cursing me out and threatening me, and being reminded constantly that I'm black, therefore its absurd for me to shut out my own people. I'm coming back in mid-late August and plan on continuing my no black men rule and wanted to know if anyone else sees or doesn't see black guys, your reasoning, and what you say when and if your called out on it. Also if any black guys are on, how you feel about being labeled because of a few bad apples.
My personal experiences were terrible to the point that if I was offered 10 times my rate I'd still decline. Don't want to go in depth but trust me, it was traumatic. I've also heard/read horror stories about personal hygiene, low balling ,violence, and cruel behavior which isn't exclusive to any race, but a good 70-80% if the guys were said to have been black. I have no issue with black men outside if the biz, but in this already risky world, I just can't.
One more question... I was told by clients that a big draw to see me was my no black men policy. Why
I don't care one way or another about your policy. But I've always been curious about when someone lies. Has a black man ever told you he was white, and what did you do when he showed up?
Form of racism. Men want the black girl that doesn't do black men. Reminds me of a story I heard about racism in porn. Did anyone who said that hate fuck you and say other odd things?
Hey I glad you tell me up front that you don't want to see me rather then give me a lame ass session and take my money. I wouldn't go to a restaurant either that told me the same. But hey, its always ultimately, your choice. Now do I think its stupid in this day and age, yes. Lumping people in to one category is ridiculous, and I would challenge that 70-to 80% figure in a heart beat.
I'm a middle age, black man, with a high 6 figure income, and you've chosen not to see me, but I'll be okay. I'm sure there's some ladies on this board that once my references cleared to there satisfaction, would have no problem see me
....that's just stupid (of them). Race makes people extra sensitive especially if it's a black provider "shutting out" black men. I do NOT have an NBA policy personally and don't see the point (for myself) just because my experiences with black men in the hobby have pretty good and not worse than the white men (who are my majority of clientele anyways) or anyone else I've seen....dunno if that makes me "lucky" or not. You have to do what you have to do to make this business comfortable for you also. If you've given any of them your explanation to why you can't/don't feel comfortable enough anyways to see any black and they still can't leave it alone well then I dunno why'd they would want to see someone who MIGHT not give them a good experience because she's not comfortable anyways.
i know white providers and even some high profile porn stars who will not see a black man period..i know some white providers who will only see black men..as long as it is stated up front on her website..i have no problem with it..every provider has the perfect right to make herself available to who she wants to see..we guys criticize their choices not realizing how we would feel if we were in their shoes..making money is secondary in this game..being safe and secure while being comfortable is paramount..
Posted By: Havana99
When I was active all my ads said "no black men". I got a sea of negative backlash for my decision. Emails cursing me out and threatening me, and being reminded constantly that I'm black, therefore its absurd for me to shut out my own people. I'm coming back in mid-late August and plan on continuing my no black men rule and wanted to know if anyone else sees or doesn't see black guys, your reasoning, and what you say when and if your called out on it. Also if any black guys are on, how you feel about being labeled because of a few bad apples.
My personal experiences were terrible to the point that if I was offered 10 times my rate I'd still decline. Don't want to go in depth but trust me, it was traumatic. I've also heard/read horror stories about personal hygiene, low balling ,violence, and cruel behavior which isn't exclusive to any race, but a good 70-80% if the guys were said to have been black. I have no issue with black men outside if the biz, but in this already risky world, I just can't.
One more question... I was told by clients that a big draw to see me was my no black men policy. Why?
compatibility, of course. Also, the way I market has never attracted "low balling, violence and cruel behavior." I've only attracted professional, educated men no matter their race.
do whatever works for you.
as far as your last question, maybe the guys who see you because you don't see black men don't like black men themselves and that's why they're drawn to you. who knows, but personally I would never want to entertain a man who's vocal about me not seeing men because of their race. ick
Why don't you just ask for description when you screen rather than advertising your bigoted attitude? Or get references? Why do you think you are having these issues with Black men when other providers don't?
I am black and I will tell you that black men do stupid shit all the time.
Here is what I will tell you as well that men in general do stupid shit all the time.
Why do black men stand out for doing stupid shit?
* Because we do stupid shit * People watch black men more closely * Stereotypes are true if you choose to believe them
When you change the way you choose to look at things the things you look at change.
I have had racist experiences in my professional career (and believe me I am not a whiner). I could have sat there, stomped my feet and said "White people bad wah, wah".
Nope, I simply moved on to the next opportunity (or problem - depending upon how you look at it).
So this is a hobby and we all have our thing.
But let me ask you this!!!!
If a white man robbed you, treated you bad, etc. Would you have a NWA (No Whites Allowed) policy?
Think about the Provider who had a date a few years back with the White Medical Student - How did that work out?
The feel that you are not exposing yourself to stds, like HIV since you are not seeing black me in a P4P situation.
I don't blame you for your policy. You must have been traumatized pretty bad. I know a lady who got robbed by a black pimp recently. He took her cash ($3000), all her clothes, ipad, etc. Another one got robbed back this past winter and another pepper sprayed so bad she ended up in the hospital.
The feel that you are not exposing yourself to stds, like HIV since you are not seeing black me in a P4P situation.
I don't blame you for your policy. You must have been traumatized pretty bad. I know a lady who got robbed by a black pimp recently. He took her cash ($3000), all her clothes, ipad, etc. Another one got robbed back this past winter and another pepper sprayed so bad she ended up in the hospital.
When I was active all my ads said "no black men". I got a sea of negative backlash for my decision. Emails cursing me out and threatening me, and being reminded constantly that I'm black, therefore its absurd for me to shut out my own people. I'm coming back in mid-late August and plan on continuing my no black men rule and wanted to know if anyone else sees or doesn't see black guys, your reasoning, and what you say when and if your called out on it. Also if any black guys are on, how you feel about being labeled because of a few bad apples.
My personal experiences were terrible to the point that if I was offered 10 times my rate I'd still decline. Don't want to go in depth but trust me, it was traumatic. I've also heard/read horror stories about personal hygiene, low balling ,violence, and cruel behavior which isn't exclusive to any race, but a good 70-80% if the guys were said to have been black. I have no issue with black men outside if the biz, but in this already risky world, I just can't.
One more question... I was told by clients that a big draw to see me was my no black men policy. Why?
You should be able to choose whom you see or not see... But letting your past experiences interfere by putting the "Bad Experience" with everyone.. Not all are the same.. Screen better.. The mannerism they show you should put a red flag that they are a"No See"... Just the way they speak to me on the phone I can decide rather to see them or not... Limiting yourself, your going to lose-in business sense... I have a few gentlemen whom are of color and I would see them over anyone any day, they are mannered, not to mention nice big "C***'s"... But as stated.. It's your choice and if that's how you feel, then nothing anyone says to you should matter...
I am a little surprised by these discussions, since one of the search functions for providers include "ethnicity." Height, Weight etc. Frankly, I get turned on by blue eyes and that is not a search option.
As far as any negative encounters, they were a cross-section of society and did not dominate any specific group. Perhaps your experiences had nothing to do with race, but rather the type of individuals you screened and being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Marketing yourself in the right way and responsibly plays a significant role in the gentlemen we attract, but of course does not guarantee a perfect match! To me race is unimportant. A positive connection which is honest and genuine is what I look for in my clientele There is no such thing as one racial group being above another and we need to propagate love not ignorance. It is 2013 afterall
First thing first....to anyone who's trying to slam Havana for being "racist" or "reverse racism".....THERE IS NO SUCH THING. She's a woman of color, talking about men of color. Racism and Oppression comes from a place of Power and Privilege. What is actually going on is Havana has a Prejudice against Black men, and is Discriminating towards them.
Do I agree with that business decision? not one bit. However....it's HER prerogative to choose who she sees. Just because companions are paid for our time, doesn't mean we "owe" it to anyone.
But I think you're missing out, mama.... Personally, I fucking love Black men. love. Some of my ATF, hottest, best lovers, most wealthy and kindest gents I have seen have been Black men. and yes, I have also had a couple super shitty experiences with men of color. But then again...I think that's more indicative of 'people' being dicks, than it is of a certain camp of men.
You can see or do anyone you want, of course it's your right. HOWEVER, everyone has the right to think you are a bigot and appropriately chide you, especially since you make this public. Have you never had a negative experience with anyone of another race? Do you really believe that if you saw a black executive or professional, that there is really a risk of things going bad? Do you think that there is some inherent tendency in Black men to be violent regardless of their social class or education? For instance, do you think the President would treat you badly if you had an encounter? If you do, then your policy is completely appropriate for you. If not, you just need to screen better. Again, your right to see who you want. Our right to call you a bigot. And for every white guy who likes your policy, I bet there's another white guy who doesn't, and won't see you because of it.
I'm a Black man... I certainly don't have hygiene issues. I wouldn't low-ball, am not violent and would consider myself a good, generous client. The issues you speak of can happen with anyone of any race, though. I don't think I should be judged based on your negative experiences with *other* people. Isn't this where good screening makes sense?
For me, it's frustrating to browse ads and see "No AA men!!". I know it's not personal, but it's a reminder that wealth, status and education don't mean a thing if people still judge you by the lowest common denominator.
I also understand that some clients don't wish to see women who also see Black men. That's unfortunate, but if that helps sustain business, so be it. I can think of a number of reasons some clients would prefer this; none of them good...
I respect individual choices even if they are, in my opinion, not entirely reasonable.
I prefer screening criteria - whatever they may be - age, income, race, ... - to be displayed upfront by the provider in a matter of fact way so that I can decide whether I qualify or not and do not have to part with information about me and then get rejected.
Screening criteria are what they are - the operative word is screening. Yes, they are not perfect, but as long as they work for the provider, they seem reasonable to me. What does "work for provider" mean? Say one screening criterion is that the client should be 35 years or older. Does that mean all clients over 35 are great? No. Does it mean all clients under 35 are bad? No. It just means that the provider assesses the probability of a good session to be higher when the client is over 35. The screening criterion could work for the provider as long as it brings in adequate number of clients for the provider.
Look I enjoy this lively conversation, its certainly better than most, because it shows that regardless what we'd like to believe, the world, for most hasn't really changed much.
For me though, I'm keeping a growing healthy list of lovely ladies that have spoken out here and will see me for who I am. A wealthy, well verified, mannerly, respectfully, client, that enjoys the company of intelligent, open minded, beautiful women, and just happens to be black.
And I'm hoping that the young ladies who won't see me, or people like me, will remember me fondly when the rent is due.................................
Here is my 2 cents regarding the No Black Men Policy:
Having run an agency for almost 5 years I think I figured out why so many providers do not see black men. The primary reason is their attempt to avoid pimps. Many pimps (majority being younger men) will actually try recruiting females by booking appointments with them. I had pimps (not realizing we were an agency) try recruiting females by sending text messages...one even went so far to have one of his girls call trying to explain to my female booker why she should come be with her and her "daddy." I knew another agency owner who told me a client booked an appointment, came to the session with over $5K in his pocket and lured his lady away with the dream of making much more money. She returned back to the agency 2 weeks later after she realized she was sold a pipe dream and was suddenly in a very bad situation.
Another reason some providers will not see black men is because they already have a black pimp. Pimps are notorious for trying to "bump" other pimps of their ladies. So to avoid something they have already done themselves, they post no black men in their ladies ads. Trust me when I say this, a lot of ladies (especially on sites like BP) are being pimped.
Yet another reason is because of anatomy. Stereotype or no stereotype, its a true case that black men in general tend to be bigger in the penis department. Some women just don't want to encounter an abundance of larger penises on a regular basis. And this could definitely be due to physical limitations.
As far as black men causing 70-80% of the issues for providers, I would tend to disagree. In my years of running my agency, the only problems we ever encountered were with white men. I will admit we didn't have a big number of black clients, but the ones we had were pretty consistent in booking with us and all of the ladies that saw them looked forward to seeing them again. The other reasoning such as hygiene, to me that's not a race issue, that's a human issue. I have had clients book a lady and say "hey, I'm just leaving work so is it possible for me to shower upon my arrival."
Everyone is different and it sounds like for this provider she just had too many issues with black men that she chooses not to see any. We all have our preferences, and of the course that natural God-given right of freedom of choice and freedom of will. To each his own. I can see why it is very frustrating to see a lady post no black men, but look at it like this....as a client you just saved money and yourself from what would most likely turn out to be an an unpleasant experience. And for the providers that do see black men, well that's more money available for you. For every provider that says no to black men, there are probably 5 or so that will see black men.
Posted By: Havana99
When I was active all my ads said "no black men". I got a sea of negative backlash for my decision. Emails cursing me out and threatening me, and being reminded constantly that I'm black, therefore its absurd for me to shut out my own people. I'm coming back in mid-late August and plan on continuing my no black men rule and wanted to know if anyone else sees or doesn't see black guys, your reasoning, and what you say when and if your called out on it. Also if any black guys are on, how you feel about being labeled because of a few bad apples.
My personal experiences were terrible to the point that if I was offered 10 times my rate I'd still decline. Don't want to go in depth but trust me, it was traumatic. I've also heard/read horror stories about personal hygiene, low balling ,violence, and cruel behavior which isn't exclusive to any race, but a good 70-80% if the guys were said to have been black. I have no issue with black men outside if the biz, but in this already risky world, I just can't.
One more question... I was told by clients that a big draw to see me was my no black men policy. Why?
While I personally do not have any policies regarding either age or race or gender (intelligence, however, is another thing entirely ), I really appreciate McNeill's article for some really thoughtful and unique insight into this particular hot topic. Perhaps it will help you (the OP) while dealing with this issue, and the others to understand a different perspective on the subject.
Read the all the comments. You will understand why the original thread was posted. That is a damn shame it happened to her. No wonder she does not want to see black men.
I love ALL men, no matter what race you are BUT speaking from experience, it is true that SOME will low ball and attempt to pimp you. Simply because you're an AA provider. Regardless of how well an AA provider presents herself, how professional her website and photos are or how she markets and advertises herself, there's gonna always be that ONE AA guy who contacts her and wants to budget, get a lot for a little, become friends and hang out. I'm not saying ALL, but majority rules. Hey, even some with money would attempt to try to low ball after seeing that same provider more than two times. Why? Because you're the same race as he is. I've had "not so good" experiences with plenty of AA guys (high profile to add) but again, it's because I'm an AA and they assumed it would be easy to get by. Not only that but they have big penises and will sometimes can be disrespectful. To be honest, we're human beings and what human being have sex for 2 hours straight? It's impossible!!!!! We're not robots! I honestly don't believe a lot of them realize that this is a service regardless of us having the same color skin. You have some who would question you about being in the business. I've heard a million times, "Why are you doing this? You are too good looking to be selling yourself?" I politely respond, "You're paying me for my time for a reason so what's understood doesn't need to be explained." Lol I won't stop seeing black men because all aren't the same. I'll just have to keep my distance/ignore the previous ones like I've been doing.
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Also, the way I market has never attracted "low balling, violence and cruel behavior." I've only attracted professional, educated men no matter their race. 
