Having a degree in the Botanical Sciences, I was recently conducting some experiments in my green house, when I discovered what may be a solution to the world's hunger problems. By altering the molecular structure of certain types of vegetation through a complicated process sometimes refered to as agricultural genetics, I was able to develope a specific type of plant that in itself has no food value, but when it reaches maturity it sneaks across the yard and steals food from the neighbors.
They really don't belong on this forum and you should consider posting them somewhere else.
It so happens that just today, I was able to take that food stealing plant, and mutate it into a gigantic vegtable like being, that I am training to sneak across the yard so it can FUCK the neighbors wife!! By the way, does anyone have a Jolly Green Giant costume that I can borrow?
As a young boy, I once asked my parents how I was born. They said they found me in a cabbage patch. This may explain why I have an obsession for growing things, and may also explain why I've had a problem with gas all my life. I'll tell you man, nobody has to pull MY finger!!